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Tag Archive 'depression'

It’s been almost a year and a half since my last post – way too long. When I left off in August 2015, things were Not Good ™.  I languished in a cramped suburban apartment across the lane from a pile driving construction zone basically cut off from an accessible train and a close living […]

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Hey, it’s me again. And again.  And again. The good news is I’m blazing my way back, although your mileage may vary on how good that is.  Like any egotistical writer, I’ll assume you’ve been whispering in corners brows furrowed, worrying and wondering what happened to my blatherings, snark, and deathless prose possibly about Richard […]

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A Story

Here is my story. I can’t post until I explain what’s happened with me, and that’s been difficult.   So, I’ll just spit it out: my depression finally forced me to retire last Tuesday, ignominiously ending an almost 25 year career in government.  A few colleagues acknowledged my departure by treating me to lunch.  Dejected and […]

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Doing The Creep

I’ve been doing a mental dance since the beginning of the year: two steps forward, one step back, then zombie creep forward.  My last burst of energy in late February turned out to be a bit premature.  Mental and physical exhaustion struck within hours, laying me low for a few more weeks.  It’s not the […]

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The Redo; or Happy New New Year

Recently at home 2:13PM My eyes open slowly.  Three faces hover fuzzily over me. Eventually, the faces of my id, superego, and ego (Jada, Jodi, and Quiet One) sharpen into view. Jodi grins and chirps. “Hey, she’s coming around!” Jodi nods warily. Quiet One sighs in apparent relief. I blink.  Something about the light… it’s […]

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A Respite and Reflections

I’m enjoying one those rare evenings when nothing urgently presses at the moment.  The Christmas tree is up and decorated, but needs some TLC from the local hardware store.  One holiday party is over.  I need to shake people down for their gift lists but that’s another day.  And there’s nothing to report from The Great Hobbit […]

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Postcard from the Edge

I lie on my bed replaying the same game of Spider Solitaire on the iPhone. Their voices rise and fall in the next room. My personality, id Jada, superego Jodi, and ego Quiet One have been warring since it arrived. I’m resolutely indifferent. Let them sort it. Patty lies with head on paws beside me, […]

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[Many of you have been following my struggle with depression humorously referred to as Winston.  If you’re interested in reading those posts, they start here.  In addition to medication, resolving the depression requires overhaul and reintegration of pieces of one’s self. It’s a very serious and trying business.   I wrote the following many months ago […]

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Life After Winston

Winston is still MIA. The jubilant giddiness has been wearing off.  My mind is still clear and free of Winston’s weight, pulling me down, always threatening to drag me under.  This reprieve feels more permanent; the mental shift feels solidified, more tangible, as if a door has been literally thrown open in my mind, minus […]

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If you’ve been following my blog for the past year and a half, you’re aware that this blog has been interrupted by periods of silence.  That is because behind the scenes I’ve been engaged in colossal, knock down, drag out fights with Winston, my black dog of depression.  I’ve won skirmishes but each time, Winston kept […]

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