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Yup, there’s more! In freeform: Melanie on why Harry Kennedy is the perfect man Rose Gisborne on which colors look best on Richard Armitage Itsjsforme unveils Guy of Gisborne’s latest public service announcements (not safe for work!) In fandom, Fabo on Richard Armitage’s statements about fans   Gratiana Lovelace requests help captioning in “I’m Too Sexy for My T-Shirt!” The Hobbit chain goes creative with The Queen on Hobbit quilts Mrs. E.B. Darcy on Hobbit action figures! For King Richard Armitage, IngeD3 reviews the Michael Hicks biography of the fifteenth-century king In fanfic, John Thornton on why he loves Margaret Hale Jo Ann introduces us to a new Armitage character she knows we’ll love Links to all FanstRA 3 posts appear here at the end of each day.

And don’t forget the core blogggers!  Mulubinba- An RA Viewer’s Perspective, Frenz- RA Frenzy, Fanny-Distracted Musings of One ReAlity, Bccmee- Bccmee’s Fanvids & Graphics, CDoart- RA History & Spooks, Traxy- The Squee, Servetus- Me + Richard Armitage, Jonia- Jonia’s Cut

*****

A Big City

7:ooPM

Sitting in my therapist’s office, I can tell right off the bat this will not go well.

Dr. G pulls out her notes and peers over her specs, very blonde and Rene Zellweger-ish. “It’s good to see you back again this week.  Before we begin, I want to cover a few things in my notes. Okay?”

I clutched the sofa pillow and nod.  Time to take attendance.

“Okay, now Patty is your real dog but Winston, your black dog of depression, is not, although he wants to be a real dog, preferably a pug?”

Winston pops his head out of my bag. “Rarf!”

Patty pops her head out alongside and growls at him.  He retreats.  I sigh and nod.

Dr. G. stares at the capacious bag.  “Right.”

“And Jada, Jodi and Quiet One are your personality’s superego, id and ego?”

The trio takes up room on the sofa, telling me to budge over.

Jada nods primly. “That is correct.”

Jodi smirks.  “You betcha.”

Quiet One is well… quiet.

“And none of them are actually “real”?”

I smile.  She’s finally getting the hang of this.

Dr. G. blinks at us.  “Interesting.  So, who is he?”  She jabs her pen in the direction of the chair next to her where a long lithe figure with a mullet, tight black leather and gold cravat slouches.

Winston pops out again, clearly interested.  “Ruh roh.”

Oh shit. Was my psyche leaking?  “That’s just a figment of my imagination. Pay no attention to him.  He’s not real.”

Dr. G. eyeballs the figure from head to toe, an brow arching higher with each pass.  “If he’s a figment of your imagination, why can I see him?”

I gesture around the crowded room.  “Er, mass hysteria?”

The figure unfurl his long form from the chair and huskily purrs.  “I assure you milady that I’m quite, quite real.  I am called Sir Guy of Gisborne.  He leans close to kiss her hand.

Dr. G’s mouth forms a round “O” as she stares and swallows.  “Oh, you’re the muse she mentioned, for her blog.”

I cut my eyes at Guy.  Damn him!  What was he doing here?  Did Dr. G. just bat her lashes?  “Dr. G., pay no attention to him.  He’s just an especially pushy fantasy.  Now, I’m here to talk about Winston.  He’s been an utter monster this week-“

Winston harrumphs in apparent umbrage.

Guy waves a dismissive hand at me.  “Nay, I wish to speak to this… mesmerist… of yours.  He turns a 1000 watt smile on her, revealing perfect white teeth.  How did he have such teeth in medieval England?  “Lady Judi had failed to keep her end of the bargain.”

Jada sighs.

Jodi sits forward. “This should be good.”

Quiet One is… quiet.

Dr. G.’s eyes light up as she scribbles fast, thinking of that medical journal write-up, no doubt.  “A bargain, you mean like … with the devil?”

Guy flicks a lock of dark hair out of his eyes.  “Nay milady, I’ve been called a devil many a time, but I’ve made no pact with him.  No, Lady Judi promised that if I would be her muse, she would write me stories of gaining my heart’s desire, status and power!”

Oh.  Hell.

He nails me with an accusing stare, blue eyes flashing.  “Instead, she writes  this … “fanfic” she calls it … tales of “porn.””

All eyes turn to me.

“She writes of me standing naked under waterfalls, pleasuring myself.” He smiles faintly to himself, apparently not too unhappy about it.

Jada sighs and tuts.  “I told her not to do it.”

Jodi grins saucily and licks her lips.  “I thought she did good!”

Quiet One is … – wait, was that a chuckle?

Winston and Patty look at my curiously.

I turn beet red.

A corner of Dr. G.’s mouth quirks.  “Fanfic?  Porn?”

I flounder lamely.  “Well, he would tend to get sweaty in tight black pleather… and … and it was integral to the plot!”

They all stare.

“How about burgeoning horniess secondary to incipient menopause?  I read that at WebMD.com.”  I clear my throat. ” Besides Guy, I gave you some Marian sexy time!”

Guy turns away, voice quavering in anger, to show us his excellent leather clad backside.  All eyes drift to his arse.  ” I asked for status and power!  That’s all I ever wanted.  That’s all I asked!”

Dr. G. leans forward.  “You say you’ve always wanted status and power.  Did you have a difficult childhood?”

Guy slumps into his chair, sighs and bows his head. “Aye, very difficult.”

Jada leans foward in motherly concern. “Guy, you should talk about this.”

Jodi hoots in definite un-motherly concern.  ” Yeah, tell us all about it, baby.”

Quiet One is definitely chuckling.

Winston and Patty look at each other.  “Ruh roh.”

Sigh.  It’s going to be a long 50 minutes.

*****

Yup, there’s more! In freeformMelanie on why Harry Kennedy is the perfect man  Rose Gisborne on which colors look best on Richard Armitage  Itsjsforme unveils Guy of Gisborne’s latest public service announcements (not safe for work!)  In fandomFabo on Richard Armitage’s statements about fans   Gratiana Lovelace requests help captioning in “I’m Too Sexy for My T-Shirt!”  The Hobbit chain goes creative with The Queen on Hobbit quilts  Mrs. E.B. Darcy on Hobbit action figures! • For King Richard ArmitageIngeD3 reviews the Michael Hicks biography of the fifteenth-century king • In fanficJohn Thornton on why he loves Margaret Hale  Jo Ann introduces us to a new Armitage character she knows we’ll love  Links to all FanstRA 3 posts appear here at the end of each day.

And don’t forget the core blogggers!  Mulubinba- An RA Viewer’s Perspective, Frenz- RA Frenzy,  Fanny-Distracted Musings of One ReAlity, Bccmee- Bccmee’s Fanvids & Graphics, CDoart- RA History & Spooks, Traxy- The Squee, Servetus- Me + Richard Armitage, Jonia- Jonia’s Cut

 

38 Responses to “Fanstravaganza 3 – The ChaRActers Go to Therapy: Part 1”

  1. fitzg says:

    This so good! Creativity at full blast. And the Armitage posterior. (didn’t say that. Expunge, please)

  2. Jael says:

    I’m so glad you decided to do this. Sounds like someone needs to feel the business end of a whip…

  3. Servetus says:

    LOL! Guy takes over your therapy session! This is priceless! LMAO!!! I can’t wait to hear him whining about his childhood! Oh, and yeah, like he didn’t want some Marian tail as well.

  4. jazzbaby1 says:

    Because, really, what could go wrong?  Love this, judiang!

  5. ItsJSforMe says:

    Brilliant, judiang!!!   I cannot wait to see how this unfolds!

  6. mulubinba says:

    I was waiting for Guy to surface ….lol!. So, will he put up with therapy, or is he a lost cause? Loved the fanfic description under the waterfall …lol!

  7. gracie says:

    OMG, this is brilliant. I am glad Guy is in therapy. He needs to come to terms with being a muse for porn fanfic. Once he accepts this, he will be able to move on. LOL

  8. Beachbaby says:

    Now I am really cracking up with laughter. I came here straight from the Itsjsformes blog about the black leather condom. Cant wait to read more. One thing, its great theRApy for me 🙂

  9. Joanna says:

    LOL! I want to be in that room,Judiang. 🙂  I think I like the most the Quite One and Judi.;) Maybe Guy wants some tea? I’m talking to Jada.:)

  10. What an amazing bust of creativity!

    Having Guy in therapy is a worrying thing, especially that I think the therapist will have to hang… or get a dagger in her belly for offending Gizzy 🙂

    Cant wait for more!

  11. phoebe says:

    Brilliant!  It ended too soon…can’t wait 4 pt 2!

  12. Suse says:

    Just read your post during my lunch break. Jada/Jodi/Quiet One as superego/id/ego and above all Guy joining the therapy session. Just Brilliant!!! That really made me laugh out loud. Good thing, I don’t share my office. 🙂

    • judiang says:

      Dr. G. is actually real therapist.  And the Js do come along with me, although they take up no room. 😉

      Poor Guy, we shall see what happens with him.  Thank you for reading.

  13. Gratiana says:

    Giggles, Judiang!
    Love it!  I would label Sir Guy passive-aggressive in taking over your theRApy appointment, but I don’t think he has a “passive” bone in his body.  *ahem*  Did I just write that?
    Cheers!   Grati  ;->
    P.S.  Now remember, I wrote “bone” and not “boner”.  At least the first time I typed it.  Ha!  Okay, go ahead Dhana and Judiang–“romp oner” away.  Ha!

  14. bccmee says:

    LOL re: mesmerist!  Great choice of word.  😀  Very aMUSEing.  😉

  15. fitzg says:

    Guy in therapy! Wonder if the subject of Seth will come up? No doubt he’s -appreciating Dr. Zellweger…

  16. jasrangoon says:

    I’m so glad you went with the therapy post! Such a creative burst and I can’t wait to see how Guy does in therapy! Bravo.

  17. UK Expat says:

    Wonderful post, Judi!  Should I be alarmed that Jodi is my favorite?  Probably not.  This is the playground of the Id, after all, the super ego rules enough of the day in RL!  😉  Can’t wait to read what happens next!

  18. […] of this account may or may not be true, but all of it was decisively inspired by judiang. Pick up the King Richard Armitage Chain, there, at Confessions of a Watcher, tomorrow, with a […]

  19. […] on John Mulligan, beauty and badness • CDoart on Armitage, fantasy and history • judiang takes someone you don’t quite expect to her therapist • RAFrenzy on Understanding Richard Armitage • Siouxsie Sioux at Richard Armitage Fan Blog on […]

  20. […] last left off here and here with our intrepid heroine not getting her money’s worth in therapy.  But her […]